Establishing a reputation as a value-emitter is one of the most important habits to cultivate. To enjoy an above-average life, you need to put in an above-average effort to add value to others.
This is such a great concept. I've seen some of the same factors apply with dating/marriage. People find it icky to think of marriage as being transactional - you do this for me I do this for you, presumably because it seems objectifying and selfish, but I think the truth is that all great relationships (besides between man and God) are transactional first. The biggest hurdle for most relationships is to first grant that both parties of the relationship actually benefit from the other.
An employee may want to have a great relationship with his coworkers, but before that is possible, he must be able to bring value to the company and feel adequately rewarded.
So many dating/marriage relationships flounder because one or both parties consider themselves to be the prize, and when you take away, "You get to be with me," they have literally nothing to offer.
There is a similar pattern in politics. The most wholesome politics are actually transactional - you vote for me, you get others to vote for me, and I take care of you and try to make your life better. Whereas the more ideological and high-minded will just blow smoke and betray the people they can more successfully manipulate.
It’s when we don’t communicate our needs that one party (or both!) end up feeing like they’re being used/taken for granted, which seeds resentment and then other more intensely negative emotions.
Unilaterally offering value and getting nothing back feels old eventually - we all experience feeling unappreciated even by people we love and we’d never want THEM to feel that way about US. The only way is to communicate what we need, and also better-understand what forms of value THEY care the most about so we can offer value in a denomination they’d find most-useful to their objectives.
What I like about this thesis is it is (potentially or optionally) a fiat bypass system. The fact you’ve measured it doesn’t make it icky it makes it honest.
Leverage is felt in your bones and you can resonate with the feeling of when you are ‘owed’ or ‘taking the piss’.
How much of each relates to value creation and can be offered across multiple domains. Level of service. Quality of character. Ease of interaction, etc.
Good food for thought brother.
Here’s my value offering. It’s niche so low fungibility but whatever
Yes - money is the lubricant that incentivizes strangers (and even adversaries) to do things for your your benefit. It's a necessary part of any economy, but if you're simply cash-rich and relationship-poor, it's a tough situation, and you won't get far.
It's also not good to simply be well-liked but have no money - the ideal steady-state is to command a deep positive ledger both in financial resources AND interpersonal reputation as a value-emitter so both can be deployed in tandem. The truly successful have both in abundance, but most "business success" books focus on the money portion, neglecting the importance of building and maintaining important relationships.
This is such a great concept. I've seen some of the same factors apply with dating/marriage. People find it icky to think of marriage as being transactional - you do this for me I do this for you, presumably because it seems objectifying and selfish, but I think the truth is that all great relationships (besides between man and God) are transactional first. The biggest hurdle for most relationships is to first grant that both parties of the relationship actually benefit from the other.
An employee may want to have a great relationship with his coworkers, but before that is possible, he must be able to bring value to the company and feel adequately rewarded.
So many dating/marriage relationships flounder because one or both parties consider themselves to be the prize, and when you take away, "You get to be with me," they have literally nothing to offer.
There is a similar pattern in politics. The most wholesome politics are actually transactional - you vote for me, you get others to vote for me, and I take care of you and try to make your life better. Whereas the more ideological and high-minded will just blow smoke and betray the people they can more successfully manipulate.
Transactions are good!
It’s when we don’t communicate our needs that one party (or both!) end up feeing like they’re being used/taken for granted, which seeds resentment and then other more intensely negative emotions.
Unilaterally offering value and getting nothing back feels old eventually - we all experience feeling unappreciated even by people we love and we’d never want THEM to feel that way about US. The only way is to communicate what we need, and also better-understand what forms of value THEY care the most about so we can offer value in a denomination they’d find most-useful to their objectives.
The "covert contract." A nice-guy way to avoid being transactional while wishing you could be!
You hooked me in with the last paragraph.
What I like about this thesis is it is (potentially or optionally) a fiat bypass system. The fact you’ve measured it doesn’t make it icky it makes it honest.
Leverage is felt in your bones and you can resonate with the feeling of when you are ‘owed’ or ‘taking the piss’.
How much of each relates to value creation and can be offered across multiple domains. Level of service. Quality of character. Ease of interaction, etc.
Good food for thought brother.
Here’s my value offering. It’s niche so low fungibility but whatever
https://open.substack.com/pub/thumbnailgreen/p/on-a-watch-list?r=nv8me&utm_medium=ios
Yes - money is the lubricant that incentivizes strangers (and even adversaries) to do things for your your benefit. It's a necessary part of any economy, but if you're simply cash-rich and relationship-poor, it's a tough situation, and you won't get far.
It's also not good to simply be well-liked but have no money - the ideal steady-state is to command a deep positive ledger both in financial resources AND interpersonal reputation as a value-emitter so both can be deployed in tandem. The truly successful have both in abundance, but most "business success" books focus on the money portion, neglecting the importance of building and maintaining important relationships.